The Week From Which No One Shall Recover: The Condensed Version

Well here's one for the books. Krough members from far and wide (from D.C. to Boston, actually)gathered in Franklin Square for what has been thought of as one of the greatest parties to date, hosted Kathy style, of course. There were many new faces and the liquor was free-flowing as we all celebrated the 21st birthdays of our friends Timm and Ann. So sit back and relax as your friendly neighborhood krough member Lou takes you through the highlights reel.

PRE-PARTY MAYHEM

Well, for a party of this size (40 or so people) preparations are always a must. And when you have to tap a keg (!) it takes a touch more planning skill. The afternoon before the party was obviously spent taking care of all the decorations and keg preparations. We arrived at Kathy's house around 3pm or so, having just finished a hefty meal at the China Buffet in Baldwin, we were ready to roll up our sleeves and prepare for fun. The set up krough consisted of myself, Kathy, Timm, Ann, Cris, Christina, and several newcomers: Nate (D.C.), Angie(D.C.), Rebecca(Baltimore), and Dovid(Baltimore). Banners were hung, the keg was neatly stored away, and balloons were inflated in epic proportions. Not counting the casualties we went through a bag of 100 balloons. Not too shabby. Those of us who decided not to work at occasional intervals were found in the living room taking part in the Playstation 2 action which was so nicely facilitated by yours truly.

Memorable Quote: "Look, Nate! We've got Guy on Guy action!" -Timm

AND THE KEG WOULD LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS

Around 8pm or so, people gradually began filtering in. At this time, Craig, Megan, Annie, and I opted to tap the keg. Annie, with all her keg tapping wisdom, ended up showering us and a good third of the room with a blast of beer flavored foam. You know it's a good party when you smell like beer before it even starts. Craig polished off the job as most of us helped Annie clean up.

Memorable Quote: "This is a new shirt!" -Anniechan

NO WOMANIZING GUARANTEE...... RIGHT......

Contrary to Timm's usual form, Timm made a formal promise not to hit on any of the females at the party for the night. Seemed a bit contradictory seeing as how it was the guy's birthday, but hey... a promise is a promise. Or so it would seem.

Now, asking me how this actually came about would not help you seeing as how I honestly don't remember. But somehow, within the first hour of the party, Timm went form a no womanizing guarantee to a total ass-off with me. I suppose the point of an ass grabbing contest is the be suave and gentile and actually earn your points, but alcohol does not help in that department. The final score ended in a tie with 12 asses each. The prize catch was Kathy, who was worth 10 points. Neither of us were able to do it, seeing as how even a simple attempt would leave us in a downward shame spiral form a cold-hearted bitch attack and a handful of broken fingers to boot.

Memorable Quote: "I just think you should know, that Timm just grabbed my ass, so if you need to keep up, just go for it..." -Angie

EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING

Yup... the mid point sparring match which never happened, thanks in part to me. See, Cris and I were ready for a usual mid-party slug-fest when Nate decided to start trash talking. I immediately engaged him in a drunken state and threw several phantom punches which didn't connect. Ok, ok..... so the last one did.

Little did I know that the last wedge hand swipe I performed landed him in the face. Nate didn't even realize at the time until he felt the blood on his face. Yup,... I gave the kid a bloody nose. Not a pleasant end to our little scuffle. Cris was still sobre enough to discourage us all form any more needless injury. Although I think Damion and I decided to spar a bit. And he caught me in the nose as well. Although I didn't bleed, I felt that blow for a few days afterwards.

Memorable Quote: "...I think we're just gonna take it too far...." -Cris

DRUNKEN VIDEO GAMES: THE PAST TIME OF THE GODS

As usual, our drunken states were put to ultimate test of hand-eye coordination as some of us gathered to the N64. Mariokart was of course dominated by the ever speedy Annie-chan, while Cris and myself layed the smackdown with Super Smash Bros.

Memorable Quote: "Wow, my timing's off...." -Lou

UHHH.... WHO'S ON FIRST?

Well, this is definitely one of the highlights of the evening. As freaky as it was. Nate and Annie were politely discussing which guys Nate should try hitting on at the party. The subject of Damion came up. Damion was a guest invited by Heather. He's a cool guy who's into anime, martial arts and attends college with Heather up in Montreal. Nate promptly decided to inquire about Damion's orientation by approaching Heather. Nate then asked her, "Is Damion gay?" Here's the kicker. In Heather's half enebriated state, Heather thought that the question was actually a statement. Not "Is Damion gay" but rather "Damion is gay."

Needless to say, Heather "agreed" with Nate, thus starting a rumor that night which filtered through the entire house. When the rumor eventually got back to Heather (the rumor which she herself started) she was too drunk by this time to ever remember starting it, so she herself started believing it. This ultimately got her upset, seing as how she has a mild crush on the guy. Now there's a scenario for a sitcom. Just as a side note, Damion is NOT gay for anyone that is confused by this point.

Memorable Quote: "Is he...?" -Heather

THE RAFFLE

Fergll's little stroke of genius the day before gave way to this party's main event. We decided to raffle off Mars' boyfriend Josh(Boston). Not a bad way to welcome a guy to a krough party! Eventually everyone was raffled off, in a huge display hosted by the birthday boy Timm. It's getting harder and harder to top these stunts...

Memorable Quote: "And the winner is...!" -Timm

AUNT JUDY'S ENCOUNTER

Well here's another blunder. Aunt Judy's night was thrown awry as a new party dweller Flannery(Baltimore) wandered into Aunt Judy's room in the middle of the night. Not sure what went on, but our resident adult was not pleased. Very uncool.

Memorable quote: "Aunt Judy was NOT too happy about it." -Anniechan

THE WIND-DOWN

As everyone began to sobre up, beds were made and Adria's delicious desserts looked even more delicious as a case of the late night munchies hit us all. All in all, somewhere around 20-odd people slept at the house. In the morning... IHOP.

What more could you ask for?
-Lou