I swear. Being in a rock band is a lot like being married to
3 other people, but it's far less sexually satisfying. Sometimes,
like right now, I really wonder why I'm putting up with this shit.
The only reason I play guitar or sing is to have a good time,
express myself, and stretch myself to do things I wouldn't ordinarily
do. Right now, I'm really not having a very good time, I only
want to express myself using my middle finger, and the only way
I want to stretch myself is to buy a shotgun, and learn how to
use it.
But, lets start earlier. I play in a band. Lets call the band
Warped Reality. That's not the name, but that's not the point.
They were a three piece until earlier this year when I joined
them to play guitar and sing. We're a standard sort of 4 piece
setup -- two guitars, bass, drums. We do a mix of originals and
covers. Once I joined, I learned a bunch of their originals, I
added lead guitar to some of them, played rhythm on others, and
have been slowly but surely adding vocals as well. We've been
gigging, writing new tunes, and we're just about done recording
a demo.
...but right now I am So. Very. Angry. Our bass player, Burt,
whose name has been changed to protect the guilty, has been making
my life somewhat miserable on and off for the past few months.
He's played bass for a very long time, and is into a variety of
music. He wants to play a variety of music with the band. Normally
not a problem.
However, Burt does not show up on time to rehearsals -- and sometimes
doesn't show up at all, Burt does not suggest cover songs. Burt
does not give much input into the new originals we have been writing,
and Burt complains more than anyone else in the band.
It also just so happens that he tends to aim most of his thinly
veiled complaints in my direction. Often, during tunes that I
started the writing process for, he'll complain that the song
isn't jazzier, that it doesn't 'groove' enough, that it's too
simple. He rarely suggests ways to improve the song, leaving the
negative energy floating all around.
He's also great at nebulous comments like "I don't really
like how thing's have been going lately." The prime moment
for comments like this is during the last quarter of the rehearsal,
and he'll preface this moment with pouting for a while. This will
be followed with the usual complaints about how we need to do
more jazz in our set, and that we sound too metal. Now, I can't
prove it -- but trust me, we're not metal.
Tonight's fiasco came to a head when he started complaining about
the simplicity of our songs right after we finished practicing
a new one that I had a good deal to do with the writing of. He
didn't have any suggestions -- just that my tune was too simple.
(I even disagree with his assessment, but that's somewhat off
the point of the discussion...)
The point IS this, though -- if you don't show up to rehearsals,
and then you complain about what you missed, it's like bitching
about who's President when you didn't bother to vote.
See? Doesn't this sound like a romantic relationship gone awry?
The bad communication...the lack of problem resolution. It's just
about as stressful, but there's absolutely no make up sex involved.
Which leaves me in a pissy mood, writing this fairly shitty journal
entry, when it's late at night, and there just isn't anyone to
go chat it up with at the moment.
SEE?!?!? No pillow talk, or late night chatter either -- just
me writing this damn journal entry.
I guess the real problem is that I don't know what to do about
any of this. The way things are going, I'm not having any fun.
I'm not really a big jazz fan, either -- truth be told. I really
just want to rock out, and write some great rock songs. Rock songs
with variety, and interesting weird beautiful things happening
in them, but rock songs nevertheless. The other two guys in the
band and I came to an agreement that we're going to go to an all-originals
set up. I dig that a lot -- that might help to alleviate some
of the problems.
However, Burt has recently had no respect for what I bring to
the band, and given his attendance record and communication skills,
I've recently had less and less respect for Burt.
It also doesn't help that he tries to dictate the times of our
rehearsals, yet he currently doesn't have a job and hasn't had
one for months. I'm 23, He's in his 40s, and as far as I know,
he's living with his Mom. Maybe that's a sign.
Meanwhile, the rest of us are juggling work and / or school to
fit rehearsals in, and then he doesn't show.
I'm going to persevere for a while, because it would be a shame
to leave the band. The other guys in the band are great, and I
think some of our originals really cook. But, if things don't
change after we settle into this new all originals deal, I'm going
to put myself out of my misery, and get out of there.
Maybe I'll just buy a dog and teach it to play harmonica, or
a blow up doll and an air pump. Either solution seems better that
this...
